Did you know that just thinking about love releases endorphins from the hypothalamus of the brain into the bloodstream? Chemical magic happens that makes us feel good. As with other themes, in writing about love we writers try our best to be original. Don’t want to fall into that netherworld of clichés. Don’t want to sound syrupy or corny. But there are times when corny is nostalgically comfy, and trendy is often one dimensional and mean spirited.
Like most women, I love romance and everything romantic. Romance makes me feel good. Though not my own preference, the romance novel is one of the largest and most successful of niches for the writers who create them to the delight of millions. Personally, for light reading I admire writers like Danielle Steele and the late Sidney Sheldon. Different from typical romance novels, theirs are three-dimensional original romantic novels with guts, mystery, history and suspense. Their fans adore them because these writers have a heck of a lot of wisdom about human nature and how love or lack of love shapes our lives in mystifying ways.
I love writing about romantic places and romantic people in my life. It takes me places I can no longer physically go. But I can go there in my head; and the places are there and the people too. Ask any author who has written about romantic love; he or she will tell you what happens on a physical level while in the process of writing about it. In fact, sit the writer down in front of a mirror when he’s writing about love; he or she will see a physical transition in the form of a smile or glowing face. When endorphins are on the march, they are sending powerful euphoric messages like shooting stars across the universe. You can see I was a fan of the Moody Blues, “Thinking is the best way to travel.” Well ….
The movie, Endless Love was endlessly forgettable, but the title is truth itself. Romantic, spiritual or familial-love IS endless and exists only to express itself. In a crowded room, two people in love are aware only of each other. Nothing else exists (see South Pacific). When we love our pet we feel the animal’s love in return. When we love a child, we feel that child’s love in return. In emitting love, love comes back to us ten-fold. When we love we get more than we give because it gives us unlimited pleasure to give love. Called the reward pathway by scientists, this neural network in the middle brain reacts immediately to happy feelings like quenching our thirst or having good sex.
But love is more than lust or sex. According to research anthropologist Helen Fisher at Rutgers University, “love activates a region of the brain rich in dopamine, associated with rewards.” Fisher and her colleagues found that “love is a long-term all-consuming and powerful unconscious state, not necessarily cognitive.” Her studies also found that 40 percent of people who are rejected in love end up with clinical depression. Isn’t it interesting that contrary to what most of us believe about the heart, all the action starts in the brain? Or perhaps these love researchers will eventually conclude it is a brain/heart phenomenon?
I love the spiritual expression of love. Consider this quote from Lebanese-American poet, Kahlil Gibran: “Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.” That one line gave me the idea for a short story I recently wrote about three people in the Sahara. Two are lost in a failing marriage; the third, a mysterious wandering sand surfer is the catalyst for renewing their love.
In the pure silence of prayer or meditation, we experience a personal, one-on-one communion with the beloved, all consuming and omnipotent. “Gilead” by Marilynne Robinson alludes to the 19th century religious American Transcendentalists, Thoreau and Emerson. Countless spiritual books have been written about various Eastern philosophies. Many people have had personal experiences with Christian, Buddhist and Indian monks and teachers. I’m not sure I know what being “religious” means. The Dalai Lama calls his the religion of love and compassion. Sounds good.
When we are communing with God, or the higher power, or whatever we wish to call it, there exists that same transcendental space. It can be a wisp of a moment, or expansive as the sea. It is that endorphin moment – love.
-Susan Scharfman
Visit my website http://www.susanscharfman.com “Written On The Winds” – An eclectic collection of articles on living consciously. My novel, The Sword & The Chrysanthemum, Journey of The Heart, is available on Kindle and Amazon.com
